


To the River

by Red_Moose_Lesbean



Category: Shingeki no Kyojin | Attack on Titan
Genre: Armi's trying, Depression, Eren's a good friend, F/F, Implied/Referenced Self-Harm, genderbent
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-08-16
Updated: 2018-08-16
Packaged: 2019-06-28 06:40:55
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,459
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/15701901
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Red_Moose_Lesbean/pseuds/Red_Moose_Lesbean
Summary: Armi hasn't been to school in nearly two weeks, Eren goes to check on her.This is a vent about stuff, idk





	To the River

Armi lay in bed staring at her ceiling, her thoughts zipping around in her head. She hadn't left her house in about a week and a half, she'd missed seven days of school in a row and tomorrow she had to go in or the school was going to send a truancy officer.  A fresh wave of anxiety washed over her, just thinking about it and made her stomach churn. To make things worse she had pretty much cut herself off from her friends, she'd stopped replying and made no effort to see them. She felt guilty as all hell.   
  
It's not like she had meant to stay home that long, She had forgotten to take her pills three days in a row and by the time Monday rolled around she felt like shit and stayed home despite knowing that would only make her feel worse. One day turned to two, and two to four and then the thought of having to go in and catch up on work and explain to her friends why she hadn't been talking to them made a nauseating mix of anxiousness and guilt spin through her stomach with such force she thought she might throw up. She knew she should just start taking her pills again but they hurt her stomach whenever she got back on them after a break and didn't want to deal with that on top of everything else. She really didn't have the energy.

Her phone buzzed beside her on the pillow and a notification with Eren's name came up. Armi bit her chewed up lip as she opened the message.  
  
-Hey Armi, I've missed you at school. Are you ok? Haven't heard from you for a while.

Feeling the familiar guilt rise up from the background she typed out a quick response.  
  
-Hey, Yeah I'm fine.

She knew it wasn't very insightful but she didn't really know what else to say. Almost instantly her phone buzzed again.

-Good to hear! I've really missed you. Could I come over? I know its late but I really wanna see you, I've been worried.

The guilt from those three words was almost overwhelming, she had made her friends worry about her. How selfish could she be?

-I've missed you too, Eren. I'll be at school tomorrow so you don't have to come now. It's cold out.

-I'll be over in five.

Armi shook her head at her friends response and slipped out of bed. She silently tip-toed across to her closest to grab a hoodie and her shoes. What Eren usually meant by "Come over" this late at night was she'd turn up at Armi's window and then the pair would sneak off and walk around town or go to the river.

About ten minutes later there was a gentle tapping at her window. She pulled open her curtains to see Eren in her usual pyjamas grinning at her and frowned. "It's freezing Eren, why the hell aren't you wearing a jacket?" Eren only shrugged "It's not that cold dude, now come on." She said gesturing her Armi to follow her. Armi frowned and tied a blanket off her bed around her shoulders before following her friend. She gently lowered herself onto the roof outside her window and made her way to fence they used to get on and off the roof. Once on the ground Eren took her hand and lead her off down the street toward the river. 

 

                                                                                                                       x

 

"Eren you have goose bumps." Armi stated watching as her friend shrugged and skipped a rock across the surface of the water. Armi shook her head and wrapped her blanket around Eren as well. Eren huffed but put her arm around Armi's waist. "So why weren't you at school?" She asked as they began to walk along side the water. Armi frowned and looked at the ground. "I uh, wasn't feeling great." Eren nodded "Like last time?" she asked and Armi shook her head quickly "Not that bad, it was the same kind of feeling but not as bad. I promised you guys that wouldn't happen again, remember?" Eren nodded but her face looked worried. "You'd tell me, or someone else if you were ever like that again, right?" She asked looking over at Armi who nodded, still not looking her friend in the eyes. Eren's grip on her waist tightened a little. "Could I um, I'm sorry it just scares me. I trust you Armi but I have to check. Can I see your arms?" Armi's gut lurched but she nodded. "When we find somewhere to sit."

The pair walked for a while in silence until they came across an old fallen tree trunk right next to the water. They sat down and rested their legs for a moment before Armi could feel Eren looking at her. "Can I see please?" Armi sighed and wriggled from Erens grasp and took off her hoodie before holding her arms out to her friend. Eren's face fell, seeing four fresh lines cut neatly along the inside of her left arm. Armi stared at the ground blankly as her mind buzzed like it was going to explode, she waited for Eren's reaction. She expected anger or yelling but what she got was a tight hug. Her eyes went wide as her friend held her, She felt a few tears hit her neck "E-Eren?" this is not what she had expected. Eren pulled back and Armi looked her in the eyes for the first time that night.  She really hadn't expected her friend to cry, not over her. "Armi, please stop doing this. For me? I know you're self esteem's all fucked up but you're the most awesome person I know! You're my best friend man, I couldn't handle half the shit I do without you to help me! You're always there for me! and Mikasa too, let us be there for you too." She said holding Armi's hands between them as fresh tears began welling up in her eyes "Please, I couldn't handle losing you." Armi began to tear up again as she nodded "I'm sorry." She said quietly as the tears spilt over, Eren pulled her into another hug. "I'm so sorry."

They sat there for a long time, holding onto each other and talking quietly about anything that popped into their heads. Eventually they found themselves laying in the grass looking up at the stars, the conversation replaced with a comfortable but heavy silence.  Eren couldn't help but look at Armi's arm, her heart hurt just thinking about how terrible her friend would have to feel to do that to herself. 

Without thinking Eren reached out and ran her finger over one of the cuts, Armi flinched and pulled her arm away. "Sorry. Could I see them again, please?" Eren asked sitting up. Armi sat up and gave Eren a look but held her arm out again. Eren genitally held her arm and leaned down, placing a small kiss to each mark along it. Armi went bright red. "What are you doing?" Eren shrugged "I hate these." she stated "But I want you to feel better." She said running her thumb over Armi's wrist before leaning down and kissing along the two old scars that run down from the inside of her wrist to her elbow. "I hate these one's more. Please tell me if it ever gets as bad as last time, I want to help. I love you Armi and I know I said this before but I couldn't live if I lost you." She said looking into her eye's. Armi nodded "I promise." Eren held out her pinky with a serious look on her face, Armi giggled hooking her own around it and nodded. Eren seemed satisfied as she smiled back.

The two of them spent another hour there together, Eren told Armi about all the thing she missed at school and Armi told Eren about the newest book she'd read. It was nearly 4am before they decided it was probably time to head home. 

Eren walked Armi back to her house and then to her window, despite Armi telling her it was unnecessary. "You gonna be ok?" she asked leaning in the window. Armi nodded "I'm fine, I'll see you in the morning ok?" Eren nodded and reached out her arms for a hug which Armi happily returned. Eren kissed Armi's forehead before standing up properly outside her window. "Love you Armi, see you tomorrow!" She said turning and making her way down from the roof. "Love you too, Eren."

Armi snuggled down in her bed, her mind a lot more relaxed and smiled to herself thinking about seeing Eren again as she drifted off to sleep.


End file.
